Do you think you have what it takes to host your own Hell Cycler party? This is not an endeavor to be taken lightly. If it's done right, you will enjoy the eternal gratitude of your guests, and become part of the Hell Cycler family. Keep in mind the Hell Cycler has it's own following, so expect to see people you don't know show up to to bask in the glow of the Hell Cycler.

If you feel you are ready for the commitment, following are some rough guidelines to help you get started.

• LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
  Feel free to put the Hell Cycler in the house. It doesn't leak, and spills usually happen by some drunk dropping a cup onto your carpet - not from the machine.
  You will need space around the machine. A common mistake is placing the machine in the garage while the party is in the house. This causes the entire party to move to the garage. This is not some dispenser you use like a keg, this will become the centerpiece of the party, and should be located as such. The Hell Cycler has it's own gravitational force, so people are naturally drawn to it.

• SERVING SUGGESTION
  Check our favorite recipe page. Remember, if you've got a good mix, you won't need anything else. The beer will go un-noticed. For your convenience, the Crisis Intervention Team offers a free excess beer removal and recycle plan.

• DRESS FOR THE OCCASION
  Feel free to add accents to the Hell Cycler. The machine has an outlet on the back that is perfect for a string of lights to match the theme of your party. Please refrain from using tape to attach stuff to the washer as it interferes with the energy flow and disrupts the Hell Cycler Chi.

• PARTY RATIONALIZATION
  The beauty of the Hell Cycler is that you don't need a reason to have a party. IT is the reason. 'Nuff said.

• CONTAINERS
  We suggest opaque plastic cups as the chalice of choice.
  The cup size really doesn't matter since the volume can be adjusted on the machine. Although, larger cups should be used when dispensing a mix that will require ice. Do not use clear plastic cups or clear glasses as they amplify the inverse reactive metabulation of the mix and can result in complete failure of the phase detractors. Trust us, we're engineers, we know what we're talking about.

• ICE ICE BABY
  If your mix requires ice, place a cooler of ice next to the Hell Cycler. This will allow party-goers to put ice in thier cups before going to the well. Caution - keep an eye on your ice to prevent an inebriated party-goer from using it as a urinal or a vomitorium.

• CLEAN UP
  Don't forget that you will have to clean up the Hell Cycler for the next use. Pump out any mix you have left and dump in some warm water with a little bit of dish soap. Pull the knob and allow the water to mix around for a bit. Stop the agitator, and turn the pump to continuous to clean out the hoses and the pump. Pump it out, rinse thoroughly and you are done. Also don't forget to leave a tip for the Hell Cycler Crisis Intervention team in the machine. Thier members are rumored to appreciate fine Whiskey or 12 packs of Leinenkugels.

  
  

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